dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
