I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
