i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
