i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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