are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
