Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
