You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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