Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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