Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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