Do you still have your period?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
