Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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