just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
