Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize