it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
