I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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