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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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