So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
