I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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