As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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