just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
