His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
