I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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