if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
