He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You're like the curious george of whores
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
