your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
