I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
