im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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