we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
