So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
