I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
