A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize