Christians are straight up FREAKS
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
