This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
