It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
