Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
