If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
