your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
