I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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