it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
tell me about the fingering
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