I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
