sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
