he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
