do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize