his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
