I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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