So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
