If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
