Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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