i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
