Christians are straight up FREAKS
She said her name was "party"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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