I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
