This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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