I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
