We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize