Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Come on in and take your pants off
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