right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
