Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
