carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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