I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
