Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
