Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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