He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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